I Fell In Love With Hope Summary
Illness and diseases are stealers. They steal life, moments, and even happiness. Seeing the world through the eyes of a chronically ill child can be a haunting, angsty, and eye-opening experience. “I Fell In Love With Hope” by Lancali is a beautiful book around the themes of Illness, Diseases, and Death. It’s a story about grief, loss, and hope with a quirky twist. Here’s I Fell In Love With Hope Summary for you.
Quick View
- ‘I Fell In Love With Hope’ revolves around the themes of Death, Illness, acceptance, Hope, Grief, Loss, Mortality, and Diseases.
- The age rating of the book is 14+. (Mentions of death, Self-Harm, Suicide, mental illness)
- The length of the book is 420 pages.
- I Fell In Love With Hope is LGBTQ+ with straight, bisexual, and gay characters.
- The main characters in the novel are Sam, Neo, Coeur, Sony, and Hikari.
I Fell In Love With Hope Characters
Narrator
Sam
Sony
Neo
Coeur
Hikari
We see the story through the eyes of a nameless boy. He got his name from his first lover Sam. The nameless boy is non-binary and the narrator of the story. He is referred to as Sam throughout the story. The hospital is all he knows. He has been there forever. He has seen people die and be born right in front of his eyes. He has suffered his fair share of loss. His mournful past scares him, and he’s afraid to leave the hospital.
He was born with an illness, that could take his life at any moment. No one was allowed near him. He wore a mask, and gloves and was confined most of the time. Regardless of his condition, he clung to hope. He always believed that there was a future for him. He wanted to explore the world with the nameless boy who stole his heart. But once his illness became too much, he abandoned hope and took his own life in front of his lover. He died in a hailstorm and left the nameless boy with his name.
Just like every other character in the book, Sony is also a victim of illness. She is surviving on one lung. But that doesn’t diminish her charm. She is a girl full of life and laughter. She is eccentric and lively. She adores children but won’t live long enough to have one. She desires to steal away everything that disease, time and death have taken away from her.
A gangly, awkward boy with an artist’s heart. He suffers from an eating disorder and an abusive father. He could never become what his father wished for; a manly, sporty, popular dude. Rather he became an introverted reader and a passionate writer. Shame his manuscript could never be published. His father hated his love for writing and hated him too. He kept quiet, when his father beat him, and tore his manuscript and books. He was used to it. He was much happier in the hospital than at his own house. He was happier with his friends and his lover than his family.
Coeur or C had everything; a nice French family, the popular boy reputation, and a great swimming career but he has a heart that could stop beating at any moment. He never truly knew what he wanted, he was a product of people’s opinions and aspirations. Even though his heart ached, he kept swimming, or else he would become a disappointment.
There is one thing he knew, He loved his cute and a little mean literature partner; Neo. All he ever wanted was Neo. But he messes it up too. Now he is trying to get Neo’s forgiveness before he dies. Neo does forgive him but that can’t save him from death.
When Sam(The Nameless boy) first saw Hikari. He saw his past. She is the mere image of his first lover. She haunts him. She reminds him of the boy he couldn’t save. She is so lively, open, and adventurous on the surface but deep down she is not. She is a victim of depression and often harms herself. Sam stays at a distance from her because he doesn’t want history to repeat itself. She brings light to everybody’s life. Eventually, she becomes Sam’s second lover but will he be able to save her? Or it will be just as it was?
I Fell In Love With Hope Summary
Short Summary
Full Summary
I Fell in Love With Hope by Lancali is an angsty story following the narrative of five terminally ill children with a low survival rate. These five struggle in their own way: one with an eating disorder, one with a damaged lung, one with self-harm, and one with heart problems. They’re too young to be facing such horrors, but does this mean they should abandon hope?
Throughout the story, we see them living life, finding happiness in between moments, finding love, and fighting their illness.
The story begins with Sam reminiscing over his past lover, who killed himself right in front of his eyes. That day haunts Sam, and he is still terrified of falling in love again. That’s when he meets Hikari. She resembles his lost lover in many ways, with her bright yellow hair and her even brighter personality.
Sam is drawn like a moth to a flame, but he knows better now. They keep their distance, therefore. Slowly, as the story accelerates, we see illness taking over the happy group. Taking away everyone. Neo, Coeur, Hikari, and Sony are all in the chokehold of disease. Will they make it out? Is it even worth holding on to hope? What is the point of hope when death is inevitable?
The story begins with glimpses of Sam’s past. The day his lover killed himself in a hailstorm. That day still haunts Sam, strengthening his resolve to never fall in love again. One day Sony, Sam, Neo, and Coeur were out of the hospital as an act of rebellion, and that’s when Sam saw Hikari. There was a streak of yellow hair among the crowd. We also see Sam’s memory of befriending a reluctant Neo, an eccentric Sony, and a polite Coeur.
In between the happy moments, sadness seeped in when Neo’s father came to visit and left a bruised Neo behind. Coeur was Neo’s only gleam of light. The boy he fell in love with in literature class.
When Neo meets Coeur in the hospital, they aren’t on speaking terms. As Neo remembers the day, some boys at school harassed him, but what hurt was Coeur walking away from the scene, not uttering a single word. Neo’s health deteriorated from that day on, and he never went to school again. Soon after, Coeur is admitted to the same hospital and does everything to get Neo’s forgiveness. Eventually, they do find their way toward each other.
Meanwhile, Sam tries his best to stay at a distance from Hikari. He doesn’t want history to repeat itself. With many ups and downs, Sam and Hikari find their way toward each other.
Moving further, they all finally execute their plan of escaping the hospital. They head out in Coeur’s car to the beach. It was the best day of their lives, with lots of great memories. The next morning, they woke up to Sony coughing blood. They take her to the hospital, but she doesn’t make it. Sony dies. The familiar ache of loss takes over, taking away their lively friend.
The day of Coeur’s heart transplant arrives. The survival rate is low. He sobs in Neo’s arm and promises to kiss him after the surgery. However, the promise remains unfulfilled as Coeur doesn’t make it out of the surgery room. Now Neo has no one to hold onto. He commits suicide by starving himself and joining Coeur and Sony. Hikari experiences the great pain of losing all of her friends. She falls into darkness. But Sam is determined to save her. Save his love this time.
I Fell in Love With Hope Ending Explained
With Sam’s assistance and love, Hikari makes it out of the darkness, and now she is to be discharged. But Sam can’t accompany her because he isn’t human. He is a creation of the hospital’s spirit. After watching people die for decades, he was born, like magic. He cannot leave the hospital for too long. He is bound to the place; his life purpose is to save anyone he can. He isn’t a human; he doesn’t age.
He has been there for decades, so he could save anyone or everyone. Now and then, he meets his soulmate in a different form. One time he lost his love, the other time he saved her. Hikari is shocked but accepts his reality and promises to meet him in another life.
I Fell In Love With Hope Quotes
Some of my favorite quotes from “I Fell In Love With Hope”
“It’s not easy to acknowledge that something is out of our control. One day, your skin turns to a rash, and your bones start to bend. Your lungs give out, and your mother is no longer there. Your heart hurts and in the depths of a silent, lonely place it stops beating. It’s sudden. Sometimes too sudden to accept.”
“Since we’re all inevitably doomed to die, I will be Hamlet, and you will be Yorick, and this shall be our grave.”
“She is not a recycled version of someone I once loved. She is a rhyming line in the poem of my history.”
“The day I met him, even buried, is a memory laced with the joy of its happening and the pain of its passing. Because even if I told you I have forgotten, you can’t trust me. You don’t ever forget the first time you fell.”
“I realize, as my tears fall, that I always wondered if the suns in his eyes would suit the moons in mine till they shut forever and every night left to come, it rained.”
Book Review
After reaching the last page of the book I concluded that “I Fell In Love With Hope” is a heartbreaking eye-opener. Perfect for probably everyone. It covers deep topics like mental illness and child abuse without being too graphic or explicit. If you’re a fan of angst, romance, and heartbreak it’s the best choice. This book isn’t spicy or too explicit or graphic it’s more intimate and poetic. Each character is amazingly written with a melancholic past. Lancali’s ability to capture and portray the pain of each character is brilliant.
The chapters are neither too long nor too short. The story is well-paced and juggles between the present and the past. If it weren’t for this book I would still have been undermining the agony of chronically ill people. The book teaches you empathy, to live life to the fullest, and never to abandon hope even in adversity. An intricately designed angsty book with raw and real characters.
Things I Liked The Most
- Every character and their backstory.
- Smooth transition between past and present.
- Poetic writing style.
- Appropriate time allotment for each character.
- Well-written couples especially Neo & Coeur.
I Fell In Love With Hope FAQs
Major Spoilers Ahead!!
Q1. What is Sam’s disease in I Fell In Love With Hope?
Ans. Sam does not have any disease in I Fell In Love With Hope because he was a creation of the hospital’s spirit. He wasn’t a human who could borne disease or even age.
Q2. Does Neo die in I Fell In Love With Hope?
Ans. Yes, Neo dies in I Fell In Love With Hope after Coeur’s death during the heart transplant. Neo starves himself and dies.
Q3. Does I Fell In Love With Hope have a happy ending?
Ans. Yes, I Fell In Love With Hope has a happy ending. Sam is successful in saving Hikari, although it is bittersweet because almost all the characters die.
Q4. Is I Fell in Love With Hope LGBTQ?
Ans. Yes, I Fell in Love With Hope is an LGBTQ book featuring gay, and bisexual characters.
Q5. Who is the main character in I Fell In Love With Hope?
Ans. Sam(Nameless Boy) is the main character in I Fell In Love With Hope.
Q6. What is the genre of I Fell In Love With Hope?
Ans. Romance, Fiction, Angst, and Fantasy
Q7. What are the trigger warnings in I Fell In Love With Hope?
Ans. Death, Diseases, Eating Disorder, Mental Illness, Depression, Grief, Loss, Suicide, Trauma
Q8. What is the number of total pages in I Fell In Love With Hope?
Ans. Total pages in I Fell In Love With Hope is 420.
Conclusion
I Fell In Love With Hope can be termed as a ‘one-of-a-kind’ read as it was elements of supernatural and human connected together. The final twist in the story can be subjective in it’s liking but the overall narrative overshadows everything. The book perfectly captures the pain caused by illness and it’s after effects as well. If you’ve never shed a tear over a book, this book might be able to change that. Make sure to add it to your reading list.
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You refer to Sam (the narrator) as a boy, but he’s nonbinary and the author makes a point not to use any pronouns for them.
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